Mateo had only flown a few times in his life so it would be normal for him to experience some level of anxiety, right? Even though his past flights went off without a hitch, there was that possibility that he would experience a rough amount of turbulence, or worse that his flight may crash. It was possible that his anxiety had nothing to do with the crash and everything to do with the face that he was securely buckled in his seat, the flight attendants announcing that his flight was on-time and the skies were clear for takeoff, and his flight wasn’t delayed or cancelled like he had hoped. His anxiety could be from the universe not assuring him that this trip was a mistake and allowing him to go back to his apartment.
No, it was like the universe was forcing him to make this trip, like it knew that Millie should call during a time where he was mentally impaired from the effects of drugs and alcohol. Mateo knew it in the back of his mind that it wasn’t the universe, that the universe had no such bearing on the outcomes of the lives of individuals, including his. It was God’s plan. Everything was God’s divine plan, or at least, that’s what he learned in his years of Sunday school at his dad’s church.
What Mateo couldn’t understand is why he had to follow God’s exact plan? Why couldn’t he just live the life that he wanted, but be a good person so that he didn’t live a bad life? He knew plenty of people that claimed to be Christians, that went to church, and still lived how they wanted to live without any regard to how God wanted them to live. Didn’t God want him to be happy? As Mateo contemplated these deep-rooted questions, the flight attendant announced over the loudspeaker that the plane would soon be descending into Will Rogers Airport.
Mateo let out a deep sigh as he prepared for the landing. As he got his bags down and made his way to the front, he couldn’t believe that he’s back in Oklahoma. Part of him felt it was surreal since he had nearly sworn to the good Lord above that he would likely never return to Oklahoma, but here he was. He made his way down the terminal then looked for the signs that pointed toward the baggage claim, it had obviously been quite a while, so he didn’t quite remember where he was going. He quickly arrived at the carousel once he found his way then he heard a familiar voice say, “Wasn’t sure if I’d see your ugly mug here again.”
A big smile spread across his face at the sound of his best friend’s voice, “Man, shut up. I’m the prettiest dude in here.” He says with a shove. Robby chuckles, letting the shove push him back then brings Mateo into a hug and slaps his back loudly. When they part, Robby claps Mateo’s shoulder and tells him it’s good to see him and he’s glad that he’s home. Before Mateo could process that, he hears his favorite squeal in the world and is met with a body slam from Millie, “You’re here, you’re here! I can’t believe it.”
Mateo catches Millie as she jumps on him and squeezes him tightly. They stay there for a moment and before long, he feels her body shaking, “Hey, hey. What’s wrong? I’m here, aren’t I?” He says gently. This moment reminds him of the moments when they were younger, and Millie would come to his room or wherever he was at. She would often confide in him about things that would bother her or when she wouldn’t want to talk, she would quietly lay her head on his shoulder until she let out what she was holding in.
Millie releases from her hold, “I just can’t believe it. I prayed so hard for you to come home, and God answered me.” The tears in her eyes softly fall over the edge as she smiles up at Mateo, and he is taken aback at how much she resembles their mom. Millie was always a carbon copy of their mom, having receive her richly dark skin tone and silky soft brown strands but the blue eyes from her dad make her look ethereal in a sense. Dominic stands silently behind Millie next to Robby with his hands in his pockets as he awaits his turn to greet his son.
“It’s good to see you, son.” He says as he pulls Mateo into a hug. Dominic can’t help but remember the last time Mateo came home and how guilty he feels about the experience he had while he was here. He could admit that it wasn’t his best moment. He could just see that their son was struggling, and he rushed his healing process. As he greeted his son, he couldn’t help but feel ecstatic that the Lord brought him home, but he worried that Mateo still held it against him. Only time will tell, I suppose. Lord, please give me a softened heart if that confrontation comes to pass. Help me be You for him, he prays as they continue the greeting then head to the parking lot.
The ride home was filled with lots of questions, Mateo could hardly keep up. If there was a competition, Millie would win for most questions asked in the shortest amount of time. It was like he hadn’t seen them nor spoken to them in five years even though he and Millie spoke at least once a week. Mateo told them about the internship that he just finished and that he had been a good candidate for the permanent position which seemed to sour the mood in the car, but only for a split moment before Millie began chattering again. As much as he was dreading this trip, the excitement that he received in just seeing his dad, Millie, and Robby had been enough to turn his mood.
“Hope you prepared yourself to see everyone right away. They’re all at the house preparing a late lunch/early dinner for you.” Robby laughs, patting Mateo’s shoulders from the back seat. Mateo shakes his head, letting his shoulders and jaw relax. There’s nothing to worry about, this is my family, he says to himself, quit being a baby. This is a good day. Suck it up. He hears the words that his grandma had lovingly told him anytime that he let his emotions get the best of him. Suck it up she would say, and while Mateo can admit that it wasn’t the gentlest of approaches, it wasn’t what he needed. He admired his grandma’s abrasiveness because it left no room for confusion.
So that’s what he did. He sucked it up. There wasn’t anything that he could do to change the situation he was in unless he wanted to disappoint or hurt his family, and he didn’t want that. He made a promise to Millie that he would visit, and he wouldn’t break his promise to her, especially since he was largely at fault for things that had been unfairly stripped from her. Shake it off, don’t get into that now. Suck it up, he repeated the mantra anytime an unsavory feeling reared it’s ugly head in his mind until the moment his dad pulled onto the gravel road that lead to the massive acreage that his family lived on.
Two-hundred and fifty acres.
What they needed this much land for, he never understood, just appreciated it. Until his dad made him tend to the cattle and the stalls. From what he did understand, his great-grandfather purchased the land way back when and built the house that his dad grew up in. They’ve been here ever since, selling hay, cattle, and the like for extra income. The gravel crunches under the weight of the tires as they pull further into the land. As Mateo looks from left to right, nostalgia sets in as he takes in the expansive green pastures littered with cows, horses, and a few geese. As they pass the iron gate, ALEXANDER, boldly printed on the arch, he sees the small cabin that his great-grandfather built by hand when he first moved here.
As the story goes, his great-grandfather had just met his great-grandmother, but she hadn’t agreed to him courting her yet. She had to know how serious he was before she was willing to give him her hand, though, it was ultimately up to her father to give his blessing. So, he did as all Alexander men do, he took the challenge. He purchased the entire plot of land, all two-hundred and fifty acres, in one fell swoop because she had mentioned wanting to look out her kitchen window to see rolling green pastures. As she cooked and baked for her hardworking husband, she wanted to hear the moos of dairy cows as they roamed in the grass and pet horses as they walked up to the picket fence to get a carrot.
He built this small one-room cabin first, as a promise to give her more, to be the husband God called him to be for her, if she would take this leap of faith with him. Her dad was the pastor of the small church here, where Mateo’s dad now preaches every Sunday, and gave his blessing with the stipulation that Mateo’s great-grandfather would keep the church in the family, and they would run the ministry together.
And he did.
As time passed, his great-grandfather built the house that his grandfather would grow up in along with his dad, then his dad followed suit and built a house on the land for his mom, where Mateo and his siblings grew up. A twinge of sadness peaks in Mateo’s mind as he recalls his childhood but once again, he tells himself to suck it up. He promised himself that he wouldn’t do what he did last time and run off. He was older now, wiser, and mentally stronger. He learned how to compartmentalize to effectively avoid all negative feelings that he didn’t want to dwell on.
Suck it up.
After driving about a mile on the gravel drive, they finally pull up to the old two-story red farmhouse with the picturesque wrap-a-round porch. The very few times that Mateo had a girlfriend or a crush in high school, the porch was always a point in his favor. The girls would coo all about it, gushing about how much they loved it, and it usually scored him a kiss or two at the end of the date. Dominic pulls the truck up to the steel three-car garage, shutting off the engine as he looks at his son, thanking God that Mateo seems to be in good spirits. The trip is already off to a better start than the last time, he thinks. They all step out of the truck, Millie and Robby, hanging back behind him and Mateo, which he notes but puts away for a different day. They decide to leave Mateo’s things in the bed of the truck until after lunch so he can greet everyone without the hassle of dragging his luggage around.
“Oh, my goodness. Let me have a look at him!” Maria busts through the crowd of people in the living room, making Mateo laugh, some things never change, he thinks, grateful for Maria and Luis. He notices how much he had missed them. His Aunt Harmony and Maria were like second and third moms growing up. It was great until the kids were trying to be mischievous but couldn’t because there seemed to always be eyes on them. Maria wraps her arms around his mid-section, enveloping him in a big bear hug and while Mateo was prepared to stiffen at the embrace, he didn’t. He returned Maria’s hug immediately. She jostles him from side to side for a moment, making him chuckle then goes down the line to give hugs and shoulder pats to the rest of the family.
“Hey Harmony, I think the rice is done. Do you want to come double check?” The familiar voice stops Mateo in his tracks. He knows that voice, but he isn’t sure where from, he’s heard it time and time again but he’s never fully cognizant to remember where he knows it from. The voice, it’s so sweet, soft, and calming. Maria has a weird look on her face as she looks back and forth between Mateo and the kitchen but doesn’t say anything. Mateo looks around the corner to where his Aunt Harmony walks into the kitchen and sees the most breathtakingly beautiful woman that he’s ever seen. Her hair, a classic red with streak of blonde, is the first thing that he notices. The next is her milky skin tone and her face that is beautifully dotted with charismatic freckles. The last and likely the most dangerous to Mateo, is her enchanting emerald eyes. As soon as she looks up, she locks eyes with Mateo and time stops.
Who is she? Mateo asks, his throat going dry as a perfect smile framed by perfectly deep dimples spreads across her face, “Hi, I’m Rosalie, but everyone calls me Allie.” The mystery woman says as she extends her hand for Mateo to shake. Slightly entranced, he shakes his head, remembering what Millie had told him last week. This must be the Allie that she was telling him about and she wasn’t kidding, she is extremely pretty. He looks around for Millie, having a bone to pick with her for how much she undersold Allie’s beauty over the phone.
Remembering that he was still holding Allie’s hand and it was bordering on the lines of creepy, he shook out of the stupor and returned his greeting, “Ah, the Prodigal Son returns,” She retorts, “it’s good to finally put a face to the name. They never stop talking about you around here.” She jokes. The two finally let their hands fall, “All good things, I hope.” Allie merely nods, trying to catch her breath.
It was good to put an official face to the name, that wasn’t a lie. She had seen various pictures throughout the last three years but admittedly she wasn’t sure if she would ever be ready to meet Mateo in person. The agony in the voice that she heard that night was something she wasn’t sure she could ever face. However, every picture that she had ever seen of him did no justice to him standing in front of her. His presence was electrifying, the intensity even when he seemed relaxed was hard to look away from, drawing Allie in like a moth to a flame. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul and Mateo’s chestnut brown eyes carried a ferocity that piqued Allie’s curiosity. She wanted to know the novel that hid within in, not just the synopsis.
“Okay,” Dominic announces, clapping his hands together loudly, “Who’s ready to eat?” There is a variety of whoops and hollers as everyone shuffles into the dining room that sits directly across from the kitchen. As everyone files in, they all file in with Mateo sitting beside his dad at the front of the table, “Let’s say grace, who wants to go?”
As his dad says that, a little voice shouts from the abyss of people, “Me! Me! I’ll do it, Poppy D!” Mateo looks and his eyes connect with Allie’s once again, giving Mateo a slight satisfaction as a deep red blush fills her cheeks. Mateo reluctantly follows her eyes as she looks down, adoringly, at a little red-haired boy that looked suspiciously like her. This must be her son, Mateo remembers Millie telling him in their conversation about the little boy that she babysits frequently. Everyone gets a tickle out of the little boy’s antics as his dad tells him to have at it.
“Thank you, Jesus for this deeeeelicious meal that nanny Harmony, abuela Ria, and mommy put together.. and… and…” he stutters for a moment before peaking out of one eye, looking right at Mateo, then pulling on his mom’s shirt to whisper something in her ear, “Thank you, Jesus for, uh, Matato coming to visit. A-MEN!” he finishes, his mispronunciation of Mateo’s name giving everyone a laugh, including Mateo. Everyone shouted “Amen” along with the little boy as the men took a seat and the women went back into the kitchen to grab the food. His entire life, his mom and Harmony served the men during meals and Mateo never saw a problem with it, that was what he knew as normal.
However, when he moved to Washington, he witnessed more progressive views, especially when he would be invited to dinner at teammates’ houses, and they had more non-traditional families. They often gave him a safe place to share how he grew up and would explain why they did it differently, so he wondered what Allie thought about it. She joined the women without a fuss and didn’t seem to mind. When she came back, she still had a big smile on her face as she sat down the familiar looking chicken and rice bowls.
This isn’t… is it? Mateo thought. He was almost in disbelief. It had been so long since he had chicken adobo. His mouth was watering at the smell, so he wasted no time putting a couple of drumsticks and a heap of rice on his place. He slightly licks his lips with anticipation then takes a huge bite. Immediately there was an explosion of flavors, different than any other time that he had eaten in his childhood. There was the normal salty and savory flavor of the vinegar and soy sauce combination but there was a sweetness that was added to it that made him groan out loud. He couldn’t believe how much he had been missing, “Mommy, why did Matato say ‘Mhmmmmm’ so loud?”
Loud laughter erupted from everyone, including Mateo, who was laughing behind his chicken. He couldn’t help it, he hadn’t meant to let it out, but it was one of the most delicious things that he had ever tasted, and the boy’s comment just added a perfectly timed comedic relief, “I’m sorry, bud. It was really good.” The boy beamed at Mateo’s words, “That’s ‘cause mommy made it. She makes da best food.”
“You made this?” Mateo asks Allie, again, making her blush. Though Allie wasn’t sure the deep redness had gone away at all since she shook his hand. She gave a gentle nod then Mateo asked her a follow-up question, “What did you make it with? It tastes different than when I was a kid.”
“Oh!” His question surprises Allie, as she just experimented with Harmony’s original recipe, trying to find flavors that complimented each other, and she wasn’t prepared for anyone to ask her about a recipe, “Uh, I seared the chicken first with salt and pepper, then added it to a crockpot then added soy sauce, vinegar, ketchup, honey, ginger, and the rest of the spices like garlic powder, onion powder, and paprika. Don’t ask me how I got that exact combination though.” She giggles nervously though everyone at the table is raving about the dish, telling Allie she has to make it more often. She reluctantly agrees, secretly hoping the attention will be taken off her soon.
Her prayers are soon answered when Trevor comes bustling through the door, apologizing for being late. Mateo scoots back from his seat, greeting his cousin with a hug, then sitting back down as Allie sighs a breath of relief. The family chatter begins with everyone talking about their plans; Millie and Malachi both have scholarship to the University of Oklahoma. Millie for academics and Malachi for football which Mateo gives him a high-five for. Lily, Malachi’s best friend, along with Millie, is going to school for Elementary Education. Teagan, chose to go to Tulsa University because of their stellar Physical Therapy program plus she received a scholarship for track and field. Trevor, an alumnus from Oklahoma State as well, just finished his undergraduate degree and has plans to go through their veterinary program.
“So, what do you have planned for the summer, Trev?”
Trevor wipes his mouth then sets down his silverware to answer Mateo’s question, “Really exciting actually, I was waiting to announce it, so I didn’t overshadow Tae.” Mateo waves him off, inviting him to share his news, “Well, that’s why I was late. I just received a call from Dr. Ellifrit telling me that I’ve been accepted to intern with her at her practice over the summer.”
The table erupts, yet again, with cheers and congratulations, “That’s amazing, Trev. Congratulations. She’s quite the remarkable woman.” Dominic says.
“She really is, have you heard her story?” Allie asks openly.
“I don’t think I remember her.” Mateo responds.
“She moved here about three years ago with her husband and four kids around three years ago, about the same time that I did. She had her first son really young, younger than I had Asher. I think that’s why I was able to bond with her so well. She put herself through vet school as a single mom of four kids and met her now husband shortly after. They made the decision to move here to open her own practice. She’s been a Godsend since she arrived.”
The table listened intently as Trevor took over telling the table how prestigious working for Dr. Ellifrit would be and the doors she could potentially open for him if she were to write hi a letter of recommendation, “From what I heard from other employees, she isn’t easy to work for in the sense that she has high expectations and doesn’t take kindly to excuses, which, based off her own experience, is fair.” Trevor reasons.
Mateo thought that he’d regret visiting but sitting here, listening to his siblings and cousins speak so passionately about their plans warmed him in a way that he wasn’t expecting. Just as he was about to ask Trevor a question, Malachi suddenly stood up and backed away from the table, “Hey, sorry guys. I gotta take this,” he said as he walked toward the front door. On his way out, Mateo could at least hear who he was talking to, “Hey, Tiger Lily, everything okay?”
Mateo raised an eyebrow then looked to his family, “They start dating yet?” His question caused a few of them to laugh as Teagan answered, “Not yet. We have a pool going though. You want in? I say it’s by the end of the summer.”
Mateo shakes his head, not expecting anything different from his family since they did the same thing with Maverick and Jessa throughout their middle school years. He assumes that Maverick is thinking about the same thing because he quietly clears his throat and adjusts in his chair. If Mateo didn’t know his brother any better, he’d assume he was fine or just thinking, but he knows that look. His gaze is zoned out, his jaw clenched under his fist. Something must be bothering him, but he isn’t sure what it would be. The last time they talked, he was dating someone knew and she was great.
The family continues to catch up, with Millie keeping the conversation on Lily and Malachi, asking for prayer requests for Lily since her home life was less than stable with her dad’s alcoholism getting worse by the day. Millie explained that since Lily’s mom died in childbirth with her baby brother. She had stayed with her grandparents throughout her school years, only visiting her dad periodically, but now that her grandmother’s health is deteriorating, his drinking has heavily increased. Millie says that Lily is conflicted about college since she isn’t sure she should go off because that would mean leaving her little brother behind to essentially fend for himself.
Instead of the family taking in the information like Mateo thought they would do and pray in their own private time, to his dismay, his dad initiates a prayer circle at the table, “Father, You said in scripture that wherever two or more are gathered in Your name, there You will be. Your Son also said that whenever two or more pray in agreement, You will grant their prayer. Lord, as humble servants, we come to you on behalf of Lily and her family. Only You know what is happening, Lord, and only You can make a difference. Lord, we lift Lily and her family up to You and pray for Your mighty hand on this situation, Lord. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen.”
Lunch has long been cleaned up, bellies have had time to settle, and naps have been taken. As the sun sets, God paints swirls of blue, orange, and pink creating a beautiful canvas across the Oklahoma sky. This is Allie’s favorite part of the day. She likes to sit on her porch during this time and watch the sun set, it’s something that she has enjoyed most about moving to the countryside. She sits with Millie on the back porch, a glass of ice-cold sweet tea, collecting condensation from the heat, sits next to her on the side table as they watch Asher play basketball on the old goal post.
As Millie and Allie are talking, Mateo comes out to join. He begins to say something, but watches Asher sink an impressive shot, “Whoa! How old did you say this kid was again?” Allie, beaming with a little pride responds, “He’s four. He’ll turn five in August.” Mateo watches as Asher dribbles and handles the ball better than any kid that he’s seen. He’s not dribbling behind the back or through the legs or anything, but he thinks it’s impressive that he can hit a cross over without losing the ball, “How long has he been playing?” Allie giggles, knowing she’s partly to blame for her little man’s obsession with the game, “He’s had a ball in his hand since the moment I brought him home from the hospital.”
“Got a basketball player in the family? I’m somewhat of an aficionado myself.” A loud groan sounds from Millie as she rocks in the wooden chair on the other side of Allie, “Oh, goodness. Don’t get him started,” she says with a roll of her eyes. She lightly touches Allie’s forearm, “If you hadn’t heard it enough times from Maverick and the rest of the town in the years that you lived here. They were a part of the last championship series that River Valley High School had been in.” Allie grins at Millie’s retelling of the story, like she hadn’t seen pictures of Millie covered in face paint and school colors as she sat in the school’s student section at “The Big House”.
“Don’t forget that we won.” Mateo quips.
Millie brushes him off with a flippant wave of her hand, “Yeah, yeah. But now we have Allie here to balance out the ego that you and Mav bring.” Mateo looks to Allie, who blushes yet again. As much as she loves basketball, she doesn’t necessarily love the attention that it brings her when people find out about her high school career. When Allie first gave birth to Asher, she detached herself from the sport altogether, part of her feeling embarrassed and ashamed that she never did anything with her talent. She was bitter in those early days, always chastising herself for getting pregnant at such an early age, out of wedlock no less. She didn’t know how to deal with those emotions, and while she has come a long way, it can still be difficult to feel like she has to explain the obvious of why she didn’t go to college.
“You play?” He asks.
“I did in high school, yeah.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Millie interrupts, “she’s being modest. Not only did she play, she All-Stated, AND, she plays with Mav and Malachi every now and then, and all the guys want her on their team. What do they call you?” She looks to Allie, which Allie is using every muscle in her body not to shield herself from the inquisition that’s coming, “A sniper.” She says emotionlessly.
“Really? I guess I’ll have to see that sometime,” Mateo says with a smirk, looking Allie up and down. Again, Allie uses every muscle fiber known to man to shield herself from Mateo’s eyes. Not only did she never play college basketball like she wanted to and likely could have, but she also doesn’t look the same as she did in high school, as her mom likes to remind her. Allie can surmise that her mom likely means well. In their social circle, looks are important, to say the least. Allie can practically feel the heat from her cheeks radiating off her skin as she tries not to react to Mateo’s rather flirtatious gaze. Look at him, she tells herself, he was practically sculpted by God… and look at those tattoos. He’s too much. Too good-looking. I can guarantee you that he isn’t looking for anyone like me. A puffy single mom. Allie, inconspicuously, shifts and pulls her shirt farther down while covering her thighs with her hands, as she gives Mateo a polite nod and a smile.
Mateo gives her one right back as he heads down the white, wooden stairs of the back porch. As he’s leaving, he gives her flashes her one more smile before he descends, and Allie is liable to melt into a puddle where she’s at. That smile is going to get me in trouble, I should probably steer clear, she tries to warn herself. She watches as Mateo struts off toward the concrete slab, trying to keep her heart from beating outside of her chest when she sees him lift Asher up to dunk the ball. That was the toughest part for Allie, remaining indifferent, trying not to get her hopes up. Keeping her heart guarded. It wasn’t about just her anymore. Asher deserved the best. He deserved someone, whether Hayes or not, who wanted to be a part of his life. Who saw him for the amazing kid, the priceless gift that God gave her, and chooses him.
She wasn’t sure if she was even willing to entertain the idea that Mateo, or anyone like him, would be interested in taking on that responsibility. She let out a shaky breath while she used her hand to tousle her hair, but when she looked around, she did a double-take when she saw Millie’s expression. “What?” she asked, cautiously using her thumb to wipe under her mouth in case she had food or something on her face. Millie stared at her for a moment before she chirped, “Nothing!” Before Allie could probe any further, Millie popped up from her chair, nearly skipping back into the house.
Allie watches as Mateo and Asher keep playing, trying to keep her heart and mind in check. But hearing Asher’s laugh, knowing that it was Mateo that was making him laugh was kryptonite. Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, the back door creaked open with Maverick stepping out into the fading sunlight. Allie let out a silent breath of relief for the moment of reprieve, letting her take her attention off the “single mom cat nip” in front of her. Maverick strolled to the chair Millie had just vacated, taking his hands out of his pockets to take a seat. “Hey, Mav. What’s up?” Maverick didn’t say anything for a moment, perhaps lost in his own thoughts, then as if he was waking up from a trance, he answered Allie, “Ah, nothing. I came outside for some fresh air, and to get away from Maria’s blueberry muffins.” He chuckles as he pats his bloated stomach.
Allie rolls her eyes because she has now witnessed all the siblings eat their body weight in food and nothing ever happens, while Allie has to be pretty diligent in what she eats and how much of it. The baby weight has proven very difficult to get off, much to Allie’s dismay. “Oh, hey. I actually did come out here for a reason,” he says tapping his finger on the wooden armrest, “Rob said something about playing tomorrow. He ran into Coach before they went to go pick up Mateo and he said that he’d open up the gym for us. You wanna play?”
“Yeah, definitely. I’m going to drop Ash off with my mom tomorrow afternoon. Just let me know around what time.” Allie says with a smile. It’s weird, she thought, Mav and Robby are just as good looking as Mateo, yet, neither one of them have ever given me butterflies. Allie closes her eyes then sharply shakes her head to shake out the ideas. Chastising herself for the “signs” that she’s trying to see. Nope, nope, nope, not gonna go there, she says with finality. “How’s that going?” Mav asks, leaning back in the chair, looking halfway between the backyard where Mateo and Asher are still playing. Allie shrugs her shoulders, “As good as expected, I guess. They just don’t get it, my mom especially. She grew up with my grandfather taking care of her until my dad stepped in so she doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t want that,” she breathes out, attempting to keep her frustration at bay.
On the surface, Allie understands. She gets it. Her mom never had to worry about anything, both her parents had come from money. But as a mom herself now, she doesn’t get it. She doesn’t want Asher to follow in any of her footsteps. She wants him to create and travel his own path, the one that God specifically designed for him. She’s excited for it. What she can’t understand is why, even if they don’t understand, they can’t just be happy for her regardless? Why does her mom keep scheming for her and Hayes to get married? Mav looks on with understanding, “What is it that you don’t want?”
“A husband who cheats…” Allie’s silent for a moment, looking at Asher as he continues to play with no worries in the world, his laughter still filling up the air as Mateo misses another shot. Allie is assuming that they’re playing HORSE since Asher has cheered every time that Mateo has missed. The silence between Allie and Mav after Allie’s truth bomb is stifling, “well, anyway. I should probably get Ash home and in bed.” It looks as if Mav is about to say something but thinks better of it and lets it go. Allie walks down the steps, calling out to Asher that it’s time to go, which disappoints him some, but she promises that he’ll get another chance to play. Asher gives a high-five to Mateo, then he and Allie walk toward the front of the house where her car is parked. As they walk around the corner of the house, Maverick stands up and walks over the side of the porch to tell Allie that he’ll text her with the information for open gym.
As Allie rounds the corner of the house, she finds her car then opens the door for Asher to climb in. Just as she closes the door, she hears her name being called from the porch. Maria walks over to her, the gravel crunching beneath her shoes, “Hey, are you okay? Today was a lot. I wanted to make sure you were handling meeting Mateo so well.” She says apprehensively. The concern took Allie by surprise. That day is one that stays with her filling her with so many conflicting emotions. That day, the pain that she heard from Mateo, the cries, the pleas, and the agony made her doubt God’s existence, but that same doubt is the one that led her to Him. He met her where she was at, He took her doubts and answered her questions with love, peace, and grace.
“Oh,” she begins to answer, blowing a raspberry from her lips, “I’m fine. I didn’t think anything of it.” She shrugs, but that was a lie. She couldn’t stop thinking about his voice, how much it had stayed the same but how it had matured, as well. She thought about how finally hearing voice somehow completed something that she didn’t know was missing, how weird it felt that she knew him, for what felt like a lifetime, but he had no clue who she was, “Maria?”
“Hmm?”
Allie peeks around the corner of the house to make sure that no one is listening before lowering her voice, “Do you think I should mention something? It feels… odd… that I know who he is, but he has no idea who I am.”
Maria thinks for a moment, choosing her words carefully, “Have you prayed about it?”
Allie bites the side of her lip and shakes her head.
Maria wraps her arm around Allie, pulling her in close, “My advice would not to do anything before talking to Him first. This is a heavy conversation, one that shouldn’t happen without Him present,” Maria moves to hold the sides of Allie’s face, “Okay, mija? Don’t overthink it, okay?”
Allie’s heart warms as she acknowledges Maria’s advice, where was she when I needed this advice growing up? She thinks, partly wishing her mom had been better at bringing her up in the Word. But if she had, she might not have ever been with Hayes nor given birth to Asher. Allie gives Maria a hug as she excuses herself to go home. Maria was right, this was a big day, full of heavy and complex emotions, and she knew exactly what she was going to do when she got home.
Mateo watched as Allie and Asher disappear around the corner, then turned to grab the ball once he hears a car door shut, then he walks up the stairs to the back porch. Maverick tells him about the plans that they have for the next day and Mateo excitedly agrees to come play. He had tried to keep up playing since his college career ended, finding various open gyms in his surrounding areas, but hadn’t been able to play with the increase in hours that he had before his internship ended. Luckily for him, he had always, ever since he was a kid, come prepared to play the game. Every trip that his family had went on from the time he was in fifth grade to before he graduated, he had packed a pair of shoes to play in along with his basketball.
As happy as Mateo was, Maverick wasn’t sure if he shared that same sentiment. He was obviously happy that his brother came back, and he knew that God was working in answering the prayers of the family but how did he resonate with his own feelings? God’s ways trumped his ways, that much he was sure of, so did that mean that his feelings didn’t matter? There was an anger that he had carried for his brother and the choices that he had made, but he loved his brother and didn’t God command that we love each other above all else?
Maverick retired to his room shortly after they both came inside. He laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what he should do. God, how do I love him when I’m mad at him? He questioned; how do I get past this anger? Because of him… I… He didn’t want to finish that thought. He brushed off the thoughts that were surging, changing his course of thinking, never mind, God. If things didn’t happen the way that they did, I wouldn’t have met Haley and her son. I’m blessed to have what I do. Thank You, God. With that, Maverick went to bed feeling more refreshed.
Or, at least, that’s what he tried to convince himself.
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